A friend asked me if i was happy today, well technically yesterday, but I replied with an enthusiastic yes. I had a good week that ended very well. I got to workshop poetry with two of my favorite people in the world and I got to eat delicious food while doing so. Nothing beats food friends and poetry.
Of course I’m happy, what could I possibly have to complain about, but being the bipolar person that I am, there is always something. I think I’m crazy, Jane says I’m unlucky and then recants, telling me I’m the luckiest guy ever.
I don’t know what it is that’s bothering me lately, well, I know what it is but I refuse to accept that as the root of my insomnia or absurd feelings of dissatisfaction with the current state of my life. I shouldn’t let something so simple and silly get to me like this.
Really I’m ok or alright, which is better than all-wrong so i should get over myself and just be jovial for a change after all I really have nothing to complain about.
I need to run. I’ve been putting that off for too long. First thing in the morning I’m going to run, fast and far.
Your post brings up a good point that being happy is not the same as being content.
Sometimes I think that artsy people tend to feel things so intensely and the best state is probably to be in a calm state of peace - that way one is not so consumed by happiness that one forgets the state of the world and people around them, but is also not at such a despairing state either. And each state of course makes us appreciate the other much more. Now how to get that that state of calm - I have no idea.
I hope that whatever is bothering you will pass or at least get easier with time.
Excuse my ramblings.
Thanks Shereen, that state of calm remains elusive, but I can’t complain, so many other things going on in the world.